One More Day...

Another day has come and gone, and I still have the Pippi Longstocking theme song stuck in my head. I can honestly say I never even saw the movie from start to finish. I remember commercials for it, and the song would play. It's a catchy tune for sure...

Tomorrow, I'm substitute teaching for Science. I got to see the lesson plans online, and I'm supposed to show the movie Gattaca. I've never seen that one either, but I know Ethan Hawke & Uma Thurman are in it. Betcha anything, they try to get me to do stand-up instead of watching it... Maybe not, but they did for sure when I had to show that Al Gore documentary, "An Inconvenient Truth"... Of course, I would've rather watched me do stand-up then sit through that. Not that I'm trying to open a political can of worms here, but it was just boring...

Tomorrow is also the day before the big taping. I'm anxiously awaiting that, not only because I have to drive three & a half hours each way... Maybe I'll put the Pippi Longstocking theme on a road trip mixtape...

I must admit, I am a little nervous. It's like you get to that one point in your life where you feel you worked hard, and a big break is coming, and you wonder if you can deliver. It's kinda like when you beat a level of Super Mario Bros. & at the end you hear "Thank you Mario, but our Princess is in another castle...." I'm confident the Holy Spirit will give me the courage to make the most of this opportunity. Plus, I bought these sweet new Airwalks, I'm dying to walk out on stage in... Wanna thank you guys for tuning in to support me. Have a blessed rest of the week!!!

Forever In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

John 3:20-21 - “Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”

This Friday is the Big One!!!

Been on hiatus since last weekend... Were you able to hold down the fort? I had an awesome show last weekend with Comedian David Ferrell at Thomas More College in Crestview Hills, KY. Got to perform for the incoming freshmen, and their parents. The new farmville joke seemed to go over well.

This Friday is the BIG ONE!! I'm doing a DVD taping with Thor Ramsey, who's the host of the comedy show Bananas. I'm not sure if they're even still on, but it was an awesome show! I remember watching it when I first got into comedy, and thinking I would be on it in a couple months... I had the impression I would be working with Thor Ramsey sometime my first year of comedy... Well, a few months turned into nearly five years of pursuing this calling. I've gone from not getting any laughs at all, to getting kicked off the stage in a Christian Haunted House where they show you what Hell is supposed to look like, to doing a show in the ghetto and barely making it out alive, to people being rude and telling me to my face that I'm not funny and a loser, to meeting some awesome comics who've helped me along the way, and getting to work with Thor Ramsey...

I'm not going to sit here and type that I did this all on my own. Because if you saw me when I first started, then you saw me doing it on my own. There were no laughs, and it was horrible. You would've expected to see me in a nursing home, opening for that guy on the Soprano's who got absolutely no laughs. The opportunities that have presented themselves over the years have totally been of God. Anyone who thinks they see talent in me, I can vouch the majority of my successes have been because God placed awesome people in my life who weren't afraid to share their time and talent with me, and the result of God giving me a humble spirit when I accepted their help. One of the best motivational posters I've ever seen says that no one gets anywhere by themselves. There is no such thing as a self-made man.

My challenge for you as I continue on this spiritual and healthy journey is to be humble in all areas of your life. You never know where your next opportunity will come from, and it's important to be teachable. Thank you for this opportunity to share with you! Thank you also for the encouragement...

Forever In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Luke 14:11 - "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Five Gold Stars!!!

About to fall asleep... What a great day today was!! I finally got 5 gold stars on my subbing performance. Who would've thought they'd still be giving gold stars when you become the teacher?!? Here's the report...

How long did this substitute teach for you?* Full school day

Did you leave lesson plans? If yes, did the substitute follow your lesson plans?* Yes, and yes

Were assignments collected and left in order by periods?* n/a

Did the substitute leave notes regarding substituting in your class?* yes

Were absences and other records kept accurately?* yes

Was your teaching area left in good order?* yes

From all indications, was classroom control good?* yes

Did the substitute have to adjust your lesson plans? If "YES", were the adjustments appropriate? If the adjustments were NOT appropriate, please explain.* no

Did the students have a reaction to the substitute teacher? If "YES", what were they?* yes, positive and said he was funny

Would you want this person to substitute for you again?* yes

It's always good when someone recognizes your hard work. It brings such a good feeling. But it's important not to stop there because God sees all. He's truly our audience of one. I'm finding joy in the journey of wanting to please Him more and more every day, and the awesome thing is I feel His grace helping me to do so. Not that I base my faith on my feelings, because tomorrow, I could wake up feeling like I had food poisoning, but there's somethings you know, and others you rely on your faith and hope which God has blessed you with.

Got some big shows coming up, and today I started phase one of the South Beach Diet. I'm not going into too much detail, but it feels great. Thank you guys for your support!

Forever In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Proverbs 15:3 "The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good."

The Road That Leads To Heaven...

Life just never seems to turn out the way you want it to. If you would've asked me even 6 years ago, I would've never told you I was going to be a comedian. Nor, would I have said that a long the way, I would substitute teach. The subs we had when I was in school were some of the most eccentric characters. We loved to torment them, although anything from me was just teasing. I never had it in for any of them. My favorite sub I ever had was Jim Sexton. He's no longer subbing, but so many people remember him, and we reconnected with him to invite to our recent school get-togethers. He used to write his name on the board for all to see so they would know how to refer to him. "MR. SEXTON..." Quite a few times I erased the "N" and replaced it with a "Y". Fun times!

Getting back to life, it's crazy how things happen that we don't expect. I took a job working at an inner-city church plant a few years back. My youth group was no where near the size of these mega churches, and I couldn't make enough to live off of. That's actually when I started to substitute teach, just prior to finding out someone from my Christian college stole my identity, which lead to my "CALLING to COMEDY..." Just you wait until the movie comes out...

For those of you who don't know, I went to Boyce College, which initially was a Bible College. I loved it, but many times it drove me crazy, because so many people came at me, trying to win me over to their specific theological views, and many of them made me go "HUH?!?"... I went for Youth Ministry. After the first semester I was there, two of the guys I ran with decided to withdraw from school. I heard quite a few people question their calling to ministry. Then I began to question my own. Of course later on, He would take me in a different direction, one of comedy, but looking back, I don't question it at all. It was a season of my life, where God refined me, and prepared me for something bigger. I had the opportunity to help lead in prayer seven individuals to a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, and even today I had the chance to be an example in a certain situation at school. I couldn't give the full plan of salvation being I was at school, but they know I do comedy, so they might go to my site and learn about salvation.

I enjoyed a banana for breakfast, and the new flat bread chicken sandwich from Taco Bell for lunch. Eating sparingly, it's been a great challenge, but I'm beginning to see the results. I had a strange craving today for Gushers, but the Lord delivered me to some healthy low-cal popcorn instead...

This continued journey is definitely refining me. I pray that you come to the point where you allow God to refine you too, because as singer, Steven Curtis Chapman says "There's no better place on earth than the road that leads to Heaven..." Thank you all, and have a blessed new day!

Forever In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

2 Corinthians 13:14 “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

The Zombie Face...

Wow, what a day! I started out subbing for Health Science, which I have no idea what all that entails. I just know everyone in class with the exception of me, was wearing scrubs, which I feel is the muumuu of the professional world... Not really, I just like to say the word muumuu...

Before I knew it, I ended up finishing out the day subbing in carpentry. Really, all we did was go to a job site, and I did my zombie face for the students who weren't actually working, because there wasn't enough equipment for them to use. Some kid took a picture of it, so be forewarned if you see a zombie face that looks like me, it probably is... The same person that put me with the Jonas Brothers did the picture above... Thanks Ivy!! I love it!!!

Halloween is coming soon, or Fall Fests, if that's what you dig. Hopefully you won't lose respect for me, but I do like horror movies. I'm not obsessed with them, but I used to be terrified by them. Then my friend, Cory brought Child's Play 3 to my house and got me to watch it. How stupid was that movie?!? I overcame that fear, and started watching all of them to show how brave I was. Wanna hear a funny story?!?

Hopefully, he doesn't read this blog, but my cousin's like 6 years younger than me, and I used to hang out with him when I went to my Grandma's house. During my big horror movie crusade when I watched them all to prove I wasn't scared, I convinced him to watch the first Chucky movie, but I had to promise to fast forward through all the death scenes. So I did, and of course he was cool enough not to tell on me. About a week later, my Grandma bought him a My Buddy doll, he was terrified of it, and she couldn't figure out why...

I actually did my zombie face with make-up on, at Scaremare years ago. Scaremare is what most people call a "Reality House". Basically, it's the Christian alternative to a haunted house where they show you what Hell is going to look like, and then explain how you can become a Christian. I jumped up & down a lot, and a little girl thought I was mechanical.

It's so weird how do like to scare ourselves watching movies or riding scary rides. Even driving too fast can be a little frightening, yet it still gives us that rush we love. I just want to challenge you though to consider that life is precious. What you fill your life with has the ability to consume it. As mentioned in yesterday's blog, the heart is the one thing that we take with us out of this world. What's in your heart?

Thank you guys for the opportunity to make you laugh, cry and everything in between... God Bless and thank you for your continued support!

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Psalm 26:2 "Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind;"

Entertaining Angels...

The weekend is almost over... Another hour and a half till an official manic Monday...

I had a great time this weekend chillin' with fellow alumni from Fairmont High School. I had an interesting thought today, which I'm sure I will relay in the book I'm working on. Lately, I've been thinking about in the Bible where it talks about those who entertained angels. Several times it's scene in Bible where people did it, unknowingly. Which brings me to my observation. Being that I'm involved in the comedy world, if I've ever entertained an angel, does that mean that the demons are hecklers?

Let's face it, they do exist. Personally, I don't believe there's a demon under every rock, but those who are saved by Jesus Christ, have nothing to fear, because He is stronger than any power that has, is, or ever will be. James 4:7 says "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

There's times I feel like it will never get any better. Especially on this journey to lose weight and live more healthy. It's hard to have faith. Of course, faith that is seen is not faith at all. I always get the visual of Indiana Jones walking across the cliffs, and imagining how that would feel if I was in that situation. Really, all of us are each day. We're not falling into a physical chasm, but rather a spiritual one. Often people say that God only helps those who help themselves. I even heard Bo & Luke Duke quote their Uncle Jesse, who had said that. I hate to say it, but Uncle Jesse is WRONG!!! If we could honestly help ourselves, than there was no reason for Jesus Christ to die on the cross. However, He did... There's only one thing we take from this world, into the next, which I hope for all of you would be Heaven. What we take, is our heart. So let's make our heart worth more than anything by giving it over to Jesus Christ.

If you guys think I've been a little too preachy tonight... Tough!!! Thank you so much for tuning in. I appreciate all of you giving me encouragement, and pray you have a blessed week! As far as health wise, I'm doing much better eating and physical training. Stay tuned!!

Forever In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Hebrews 13:2 "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."

Can't Wait To See You Tomorrow, Kuntz!!!

It's late Friday night, and technically I guess you could consider this Saturday morning. What an amazing day. I don't think I touched on this yet, but I happened to watch the movie, Flywheel for the first time the other day. It was very awesome! At first I thought it was going to be cheesy, because they shot it all with a digital camera to keep the cost down. It looked like a skit from a Sunday morning sermon. But it was much more than that!! They took a $20,000 budget, and made a masterpiece! It's rare that I ever say this, but that movie has challenged me to have more faith, and I saw it today, when I could've taken a short cut, yet I chose to honor my Savior.

If you haven't seen the movie, I highly recommend it! I worked on my book today. In fact, I've come to the conclusion, that I'm going to finish it all as one book with three parts. Of course the animated features will be separate. Keep checking back. We got some awesome people on board once it's ready for the movie production.

God is doing great things! As I mentioned before I'm doing a college gig next weekend at Thomas More College in Crestview Hills, KY. The Friday after that, I'm doing the DVD taping with Thor Ramsey. It's gonna be a blast!

Doing great eating. I enjoyed some GNC Wheybolic Extreme Protein Shakes today. They told me that the extreme ones will help me from losing muscle mass and rather fat, unlike the regular version. I pretty much just smiled and nodded.

Hope you guys have a great weekend! Tomorrow I'm getting together with some high school alumni and hopefully gonna chill with my old football coach, whom I'm pictured with above... Stay tuned for some upcoming Rich Jones Show Episodes...

God Bless!

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Philippians 2:3-4 “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Why I Despise Horses...

Hello everyone! How are you? I found out today I have the opportunity next weekend to perform for Thomas More University's incoming students and their families. I'm very excited because it's going to be my 3rd college gig, and the following week I will be doing a DVD taping with Thor Ramsey!

Tomorrow, I will be substitute teaching for Vet Science. They actually meet at the Humane Society, which will bring back quite a few memories for me, because my first job was in an animal shelter. I got bit so many times, but the worst experience was probably when I had to walk a doverman right after it had been spayed. It was insane!

Oh yeah, I've been telling this story a lot lately, so I might as well tell it here. People always ask me why I don't like horses. It goes back to my experience at Camp Kern back when I was a 4th grader. Our school went, and gave us the option if we wanted to ride a horse, it was an extra $5. So thinking it would be so awesome, I chose to do so. I ended up getting on this horse named Pride. The horse seemed fine at first. About 40 feet later it kept bending over to eat grass, and not following the guide. She kept telling me to pull it's reigns up. A puny 4th grader like I was, I couldn't muscle enough strength up to do so. Finally, she gets off her horse and comes over to mine, and smacks it upside the head. It went about 40 feed uncontrollably, and then bent over to eat more grass. The guide came running up, and then I said to her, "Mam, if you're going to hit him again, can I get off first?!?" It was like the day before my birthday, and I almost didn't make it. So ever since then I've steered clear of horses.

Doing pretty well with this life-style change. Thank you guys for your continued support!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Calling...

The crowd in the church looked on with intensity as none of them wanted to laugh. Frederick set up the joke, "Christians, we never gossip..." The crowd became even more silent. "We just have detailed prayer requests." There was no reaction. It was as though a silent bullet had just been fired into the heart of the comedian, as a split-second became the length of an eternity. Five seconds later a cackle from the corner of the room started a chain reaction that would overcome the room with laughter. It was as though an angel had been entertained, as was the case...

The above is an excerpt from book three of the trilogy I'm writing. The site shall be up soon. Stay tuned. I don't want to give away the entire story yet, but imagine you're called to be something, and you have to rise above what you are now to do it. What would be your first step?

In relation to my healthy journey, Doing good. I had a banana for breakfast, and today I'm subbing for Criminal Justice. Have a free period right now, and there's a drawer full of Reese's Cups... Let's just say I shut it without a second thought... Hope you guys have a great day! I love hearing from all you, and thank you for your support!

Abiding,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

1 Samuel 16:7
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Just Walked 5 Miles!!!

It's hard to believe it myself, but I just finished a 5 mile walk! So much can be reflected in that amount of distance and time. As some of you might know, I've been working on writing a book more seriously in the last 6 months. It's still in development. Today, I worked on it some during my break at school. In the next week I'm going to launch the official website of the book which is actually going to be a series, even though it's not finished yet. My hope is that it will motivate me to finish it, as well as network for the opportunities once it's complete. More news on that as it comes.

Today was a Subway day for me. There's not a lot of food places around where I work. I don't like to eat school food, because I feel as though I suffered through that enough, plus I can't drink chocolate milk anymore without thinking a traffic light will start beeping and prevent me from conversing out loud for five minutes. I hope no one else is scarred with that notion. They had LaRosa's pizza at school today, which many people ate. Someone told me about it, but I'm finding it's best to avoid pizza all together. I ate a ton of pizza in college which I'm sure contributed to my freshman 50... My all-time favorite pizza place in Louisville is this local chain called Tony Boombozz. They offered gourmet pizza at a low price, and delivered to my dorm, which I probably got at least once a week. I could eat one of their mediums all by myself, and then I would save the 2nd medium for the next day, since I always had a coupon for 2 mediums. I thought with my belly and less with my head a lot back then.

Rather than make the mistake of eating pizza today, which would probably have just gotten me craving it more, I chose Subway. The awesome thing was I got a footlong, and only ate half. The rest was my dinner later. My sub of choice is the Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki, on honey oat wheat bread without mayonnaise or any fattening dressing. I get tons of veggies and it's awesome!

Tomorrow, I'm teaching Aviation. I have no idea what to say to them. Personally, I hate flying. It's a necessary evil. The main thing I hate about it is going through the airport security, and waiting on the ground. One time I dozed off on a plane, and woke up to some kid yelling "WE'RE CRASHING!!", because the plane made a sharp turn. Scared the daylight out of me! I say don't spoil the child, and don't spare the taser in that situation...

Thank you guys again for tuning in. I'm really excited. I know God is doing great things! Have a blessed week!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Philippians 2:1-2 - "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.”

Down Five Pounds!!!

I'm going to start reporting my weight more, because It gives me hope and determination. So I check this morning and I dropped 5 pounds. I'm 235. So I need to drop another 70 before I reach my goal. Today, I encountered much temptation, although I didn't dwell on it. I went into two grocery stores, and even had the urge to get a great take-n-bake pizza from Papa Murphy's. In good time, but not without some serious hard work, and changing the way I see things.

Doesn't everyone seem to have a diet figured out? Everyone knows what to do. I have family members (not immediate, I say...) who shove advice in my face every holiday of how to pull it off. For some reason it never worked for them. Without being overly critical, my whole opinion of the dieting scene has changed. It's all about life-style modification.

On a different note, I watched the Adventures of Pinocchio, today. You may have scene it in the cheap $5 bin at Wal-Mart. This is the version with Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Martin Landau. It's supposed to be more like the original story, however it wasn't as much as it could've been. The original story by Carlo Collodi, who died before the 20th Century, and never even saw what Disney did to his creation, painted a totally different story. Pinocchio was rather HORRIBLE to Geppetto, his creator. He had him put in jail. He sells his school book that Geppetto bought him by selling his only coat, just to see a marionette show. He also killed the cricket that Disney would later name Jiminy, and his ghost is actually the conscious. Of course, he got with the program and changed his ways later on, but there's such a sadness when you think about the situation of Geppetto trying to care for his creation that continually pushes him away. There's such a similarity between mankind and God there. One of my recent facebook statuses I posted was a quote I thought of myself. "Real life begins when you wake up from the nightmare of sin into the salvation of Jesus Christ."

So things are going great for me right now, which means troubles probably just around the corner. I'm subbing almost every day this week. Tomorrow, I get another day of In-School-Suspension, which surprisingly wasn't that bad last time. We shall see... Thank you guys and have a great week!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Romans 8:18 - "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

YAY OSU!!!

So the Ohio State Buckeyes defeated the Miami Hurricanes today... My parents were in attendance. I'm glad they won because it makes my parents happy, but I only watch one sport which is pre-determined any... You can guess what that is. I sort of have to cheer for OSU because if it wasn't for that fine institution, I wouldn't be alive. I'm sure I would be into the game if I was actually in the arena, but I've never been able to watch many team sports on TV.

UFC rocks, although I'm more into the earlier years because Royce Gracie was a machine! It was more interesting to me when it was different fighting style against different fighting style. I'll never forget the opening fight of the first ppv, when Gerard Gordeau, a martial artist, blasted Teila Telu, a sumo wrestler in the face, the first 26 seconds, knocking his teeth out and winning the fight. It was interesting to me because where else would these guys ever fight? I even caught a youtube video of a K-1 fight from Japan where Royce Gracie, my all-time favorite, who is a little Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu guy beat the world famous sumo wrestler, Akebono Taro by submission with a wrist lock! It's so fascinating to me!

Of course with the newer styles in UFC where everyone is cross-training with all these hybrid fighting styles, it's still amazing to watch, but it's not as intriguing to me as it once was. I have a theory that Royce Gracie even through his last big UFC fight to Matt Hughes, just because they wanted to go out with the old and in with the new UFC. I even presented this theory to Christian Comedian Brad Stine who loves MMA, but he contends Gracie never adapted to the new style. Here's my theory. First of all, Gracie got paid more to lose than he ever got paid to win in the early UFC PPV's. In the fight Matt Hughes actually beat Gracie in a stand up striking series. If you watch any of Gracie's old matches, he never ever tried to defeat an opponent without making it a ground battle, and attempting to choke them out. The biggest difference is Royce Gracie never talked negative about one of his opponents in a pre-match interview. He always showed respect. In the interviews leading up to the fight, they showed Gracie alleging that Matt Hughes was "jealous" of him. You decide. I think it was fixed.

With all this said, and since I ranted an "Oliver Stone-like" observation about UFC, just want to say, my own journey for training in the fight against being unhealthy, is coming a long awesome! It seems like whenever I'm trying to avoid foods with lots of fats, is when my family decides to be generous. Like last week my Dad came home with Buffalo Wild Wings for me, and considering I was at my Grandma's last night there were tons of options for cookies, all of which I turned down!! This is kind of crazy, but my Grandma was actually a diabetic a few years ago, and for whatever reason the doctor told her she doesn't have anymore issues with it. Last weekend she ate an ENTIRE box of Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies in a day!!! I could've probably pulled that off in junior high but not at age 84, unless I wanted to see Jesus that day...

So it's going good. Thank you guys again for all your support! Got even more subbing dates, and thanks to Comedian Derrick Tennant who referred to me as "Mr. High Energy" on the DVD taping I did with him, which I showed the students I subbed for last spring, I got referred by that on Friday from some kid who wouldn't stop calling me that. Gotta love subbing...

In Him,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Proverbs 21:31 - "The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD."

Watching WWE Classics on Demand... All is right!!!

The weekend is here!! I'm up late here at my Grandma's house watching WWE Classics on Demand. There's a classic battle on right now between Kevin Von Erich and Freebird Terry Gordy. The classic Von Erich/Freebird feud is one of the greatest rivalries in the history of professional wrestling. I've actually heard in interviews they worked "snug" or "stiff" in those matches to make the feud believable. So, most of their matches were like real fights. I've yet to watch one of their matches and be bored with it.

Just noticed on the floor near bye is a CD collection of 80's songs. It's a collection my sister in North Carolina left when she was up here. I thought about borrowing it to put on my iPod, until I realized they're not the original artists. It's the infamous Countdown Singers, which is probably why my sister left it. Does anyone actually buy those if they know in advance it's the Countdown Singers??? I wonder if the Countdown Singers have any groupies that follow them around the country. It's weird they make a living copying off the original artists and selling the recordings by putting their band name in small-print in the bottom corner of each album.

The point of my above observations is why settle for anything that isn't the best? Is there a reason why you would want something that isn't real? I think the biggest thing we try to substitute is love. We look for it everywhere. Today I observed students during my subbing gig reading glamour magazines that try to tell them how they should look. I'm all for taking care of yourself. That's really one of the main reasons I do this blog, but to be told "how" you have to look. It blinds them into thinking they're not good enough. I was trying to think what it would take to open their eyes. One thing I came up with is the love and support of their father. Anyone have any suggestions? Obviously, the love of Christ is the A++ answer...

Today was a great day for me. I set a goal to outdo yesterday's performance, and I accomplished it. Plus, I made a new friend in Tuna Albacore Steaks. Kudos to all you who are supporting me! Got some big comedy dates coming up and some even bigger potential ones. Have a great weekend! GO OSU!!!

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Romans 8:39 - "neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Weak Day...

How's it going? This won't be a long entry. Today seemed to start out good, but by the end of the day I felt so depressed. Honestly, I didn't eat the healthiest I could've. I didn't pig out, but what I had wasn't the best. It was a weak day for me. I feel right now like I had a ton of energy drinks, and I'm just coming off of a large sugar high, which is totally not the case.

I shall rebound and give my all tomorrow. One comforting thought I have right now is my all has an end, but Jesus Christ has an endless all... So I'm about to pray and go to bed so I can wake up tomorrow and start off better. Thank you guys. Sorry for messing up today...

In Him,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Isaiah 43:2-3a - "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;"

I survived In-School-Suspension...

I had the worst trouble sleeping last night. It was the craziest thing. Lately, I've been falling asleep to movies, so I turned on Stephen King's Rose Red. It's a long movie I just happened to pick up at Half-Price Books the other day for cheap. I watched half the movie and was starting to get tired, but I had to go to work in 2 hours, so rather than attempt to sleep, I hit the elliptical and got my energy going to last through the work day. My first day back from the summer and they put me with the bad kids.

Actually, there were only two of them, and they didn't misbehave at all. I probably talked to them more than they talked to me, just so I could stay awake. They were incoming juniors who happened to get caught for smoking, and were sentenced to a week in there. The girl in the class room actually thought I was a student when I tried to open the door in the morning. Then later on during my lunch break, the teacher who relieved me told me I could go in the staff lounge because they were talking about their various experiences with road kill, like that's something I want to hear about, around lunchtime... I ended up walking in the hallway for a few minutes and started to converse with a student I knew from last year. We talked on the way to the cafeteria, and then I tried to leave, and this teacher doing hall duty asked me where I was going... mistaken again!!

Wasn't a bad day at all. I enjoyed my Trader Joe's Pink Lady Apples for lunch, and came home for a nice afternoon nap. I'm stoked for tomorrow!! I have a bunch of comedy show opportunities coming up, and God is bringing them out of nowhere... I'm excited about what He's going to do! Thank you for tuning in and for your support!

In Him,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Psalm 71:19 - "Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you?"

The Bats Stalked Me...

So I looked up as I was lifting weights outside in the yard. The sky was turning gray, as the rain had just passed, and it tends to get dark earlier this time of year. As I gazed up from my bench press, I saw hovering over me a swarm of BATS!!! They live in the chimney stack of the Board of Education building across the street from my house. Most nights they come out and fly around the neighborhood, not wandering to far from their dwelling. Of course, the real bloodsuckers were the mosquitoes that kept chasing my arms through each rep I did. I don't think any of them caught up with me, although if they did they would've been drinking vintage AB Negative blood, which only 1% of all Americans have. I should pull a Kramer and put my blood in the fridge...

My Dad's had this sudden craving for the McDonald's fraps lately. They're actually more fattening then Starbucks. I had a sudden craving for a McDonald's milkshake last night, but fought off the urge, and had a GNC Protein shake instead. It wasn't as good, but it got the craving to go.

Tomorrow is the big day when I start substitute teaching again. I get to start off the year in the worst possible assignment, In-School-Suspension. Hopefully they won't try me. I don't yell, but I know the office phone number and I'm not afraid to use it... So it's been a healthy eat day. I had some awesome pink lady apples from Trader Joe's, a grilled chicken fillet with a modest amount of Montgomery Inn Barbecue sauce on it, and I will have a modest snack in a few. About to jet... Thanks for all your support!!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

2nd Corinthians 4:7 - "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

Happy Labor Day!!!

With Labor Day almost over, I hope all of you had an enjoyable day! I actually slept through most of it. It's funny, because the big Labor Day parade in my city goes right by my house. For years, I would take advantage of it, and set up a lemonade stand. I got the idea from my sisters who did it long before I did. We'd be lucky to get an extra ten bucks, but it was fun, and I guess it kept us out of trouble. The parade itself has pretty much lost it's flavor with me. It seems the same, and with people setting up their lawn chairs a long the street from 2am through the wee hours of the morning, it's become more annoying to me than anything. They don't let us park on the street during the hours of the parade, because it's reserved for the media. Why on earth they would want to cover the exact "same" parade all these years baffles me.

With all this apathetic thinking I've just displayed on this parade that if they canceled, it wouldn't affect me at all, it reminds me of the way we end up thinking about our spiritual lives. We as a nation have become too complacent with our own accomplishments, that we forget to serve others. The Bible talks about comparing our good deeds to that of God's grace, is like holding up filthy rags.

It's so easy to focus on self-pleasure. I'll be the first to admit I've struggled with this issue. Especially, when food or doing something that only benefited myself was involved. Notoriety is what every comic desires. To develop a following, and have people lining up, paying to see your performance. What more could someone who's written jokes for years, ask for?

This spiritual side of trying to lose weight and be healthy is definitely exposing who I really am, even more so to myself. We all wear masks. What kind are you wearing? What don't you want people to know about you? I guess my challenge would be to surrender yourself to God. There's nothing you can hide from Him. He knows everything, and He's never asked us to anything that He wasn't willing to help us accomplish.

Thank you guys for sticking with me on this journey. I got a few more subbing gigs coming up. One of which will be real trip as I get to be the In-School-Suspension sub. It's the worst position I've had to cover for in the past, because I'm laid back anyway, and they try to get away with murder when I'm in there. As I tweeted earlier, I'm gonna die... But I'll at least go down with a fight... I did weights today, and I'm no longer sore, so my body is getting used to it. Thanks again!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Isaiah 64:6 - All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.

Switching Ownership...

So I heard this awesome sermon today from one of my fellow comedian friends, the great Kenn Kington. The series theme was Switch: Getting Back On Track... Kenn talked about the parable of the talents in Matthew 25, which I mentioned in one of last week's blogs. But what really caught my attention was when he said we need to switch ownership. What we believe is ours, is actually God's, as He created this world. Once, we come to the realization, that we're just passing through, and what God has entrusted to us, was given so that we could glorify Him. Kenn said he'll never be the answer for World Hunger, but he can make a difference in one life by sponsoring one. We make a difference one life at a time.

One of my all-time favorite movie quotes (actually there's two from the same movie), Fight Club, Tyler Durden says "The things we own end up owning us." and "Only after you've lost everything, are you free to do anything." Those statements ring so true. I actually caught a classic episode of the Real Ghostbusters a few weeks ago, where this rich millionaire was about to die, so rather than leave his wealth to charity, he decided he was going to use this new invention to send it to the after-life, so he would be the richest ghost of all-time, but of course the Ghostbusters stopped him. I always pictured at least one person getting to Heaven and they go looking for a sledgehammer to take to the streets of gold. I wonder if that idea has even come into any mind that has entered in the place called paradise. One of the biggest traps we come into in this life is when we compare ourselves to other people. Keeping up with the Jones' they say... As out of shape as I've been that shouldn't be too hard for anyone else.

I believe the scariest movie scene of all-time isn't something from a Chucky, Jason or Freddy movie. It's not even from the Exorcist! The scariest movie scene of all-time is from Disney's Pinocchio.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07aD56TnVtc

I believe the biggest mistake made by Pinocchio and his friend, is they squandered what had been given to them. I believe so many people are guilty of this, and it's important, like Kenn said that we transfer the ownership to God. For He is in control, and we must follow Him.

This has been a wonderful journey thus far. I actually took a break from exercising today, and I will start fresh tomorrow. I did go out to eat with Kenn Kington, and probably ate more than what I should've, but tomorrow I will press on, and thank you guys for being a willing listener to my journey to being healthy...

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Jeremiah 32:27 - "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?"

"Elementary, Dear Watson..."

So I finally saw Sherlock Holmes today for the first time. I was disappointed at first, because I never read the classic Doyle novels, but I knew for a fact that Holmes was always able to figure out with reason why everything happened the way it did. The satanic rituals performed by Lord Blackwood had me wondering if he was using a supernatural power or if Holmes would be able to come up with an explanation. Of course, I hope you saw it, because I don't want to ruin it for you, but yes, Holmes did figure everything out. It was amazing, because nothing ever gets passed him. Plus, the mysterious man who kept appearing throughout the movie definitely gave them enough room to plan a sequel, and as I was watching the movie, I kept asking myself where's Moriarty in all this. Sad, I've never read the books, but I know Holmes' arch enemy's name. Go get 'em Robert Downy Jr... Your career has definitely been rejuvenated!!

The point to my summary of all this, is Holmes always had all the answers. Sometimes it took him a while to figure them out, but he never stopped growing in knowledge. From the time the movie started until the time it ended he was smarter within a hour than many of us could hope to be in a life-time. This applies to the journey I'm on. You try to eat healthy. Everyone has an answer for what you NEED to do to get in shape. I've heard everything, and some from people bigger than me. Not to discount what they have to say, but it's harder to follow someone who doesn't practice what they preach. That's where I'm trying to be better. The day you stop learning, is the day you stop being effective. The day you decide you don't want to grow spiritually, is the day you decide to be disobedient to God.

So not only am I working on being healthier physically, but the spiritual side is of greater importance. I did weights today, and stopped into my friendly neighborhood Trader Joe's again... Thank you guys for your support!!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

Matthew 6:33 - "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."

The Baseball Story...

Yeah, so I just got back from a Dayton Dragons' Game. They faced the Bowling Green Hot Rods. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about it's minor league baseball. Been so long since I followed baseball frequently. My Mom actually tried to get me into it during my childhood. She collected baseball cards for me, hoping one day I would take an interest. It never really caught on. Especially, after I was forced to play little league in third grade.

Long ago, my parents conceived the notion that this would be the best way to get me into shape.



So now that you realize the kid in right field was better than me, it doesn't get any more humbling than that. Except the first time I got up to bat, I had two strikes on me, and was terrified of my surroundings. I wanted to go home. With two strikes on me, the catcher looked up to me and said "Just swing at it..." Knowing I wanted nothing more that to be in the comfort of my own home playing Nintendo, I swung at a ball that was 3 feet above my head. This not only brought on laughs from the opposing team, but from my own team, including my coach. I didn't want to go back, but I did. The next time I got up to bat, I made up my mind, "No way am I going to swing!!" All of a sudden the Umpire looked up at me and said, "Alright son, take a base." What was he talking about? "Take a base!! You walked!" It dawned on me. You don't have to hit the ball to get on base. You can walk!!

That whole season, that was all I did!! My purpose was not to hit the ball and get on base. My purpose was to WALK!!! I even acquired the nickname "The Walker"... Until one day, when it caught up to me. We were playing against an undefeated team. With one out in the bottom of the ninth, they decided to send up the secret weapon... "THE WALKER!!!" I strutted up to home plate in my nice, white, clean uniform. I did my routine and walked, no challenge!

As I looked back to home plate I sighed in anguish, because the coach's son was up to bat. He had the dirtiest uniform on the team! I was going to have to run! The bases were loaded, and we were down by two. All of a sudden, "CRACK!!" He hit the ball. Mind you, I had asthma really bad, was pudgy and I was going as fast as I could. The two guys in front of me made it home and tied up the score. The coach's son was right behind me. His toes were right on my heels. He would've passed me if he was allowed. Before I knew it he was tagged out!!!

So now it's up to me!! If I make it we win. If I don't it's a tie. I'm almost positive I heard the Chariots of Fire theme song playing in the background. There was dust flying everywhere as the base coaches were screaming at me! I rounded third base and saw the ball flying out of the corner of my eye. Miraculously, it bounced off the catcher's glove and gave me enough time to launch my gravitorally challenged body on to home plate. I was the champion, my friend!!

I look back at this memory, which is most likely forgotten by the other teammates and probably even the coaches, and reflect on the preparation I had to win. Even now it applies to my life. As Christians, we are called to give our best. Nothing second rate should ever be presented as an offering to God. 1st Corinthians speaks of the runners in a race. Only one gets the prize, so they run in such a way as to get the prize. They practice by beating their bodies into submission so they will be conditioned to win. They don't walk. They run. So my challenge for myself, as well as those around me is to ask, are you doing your best for God?

Today, I did weights. I ate healthy, and of course had no ballpark food. I actually snuck in some healthy fruit leather from Trader Joe's. I have a subbing gig lined up for next week! Hopefully they call me tomorrow... Thanks again for all your support!!

IN HIM,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

1 Corinthians 9:24 - "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

I'm Battle Cat!!!

For those of you who know me through facebook or even in the "REAL" world, you probably can tell I'm a very nostalgic guy. I love classic cartoons that I grew up on, which I hope hasn't gotten you psycho-analyzing me already. I've already been told all kinds of weird things, but truthfully, I just enjoy them. They're good conversational topics, and what have you. So with that said, I don't need to explain to you why I have the theme song from He-Man on my iPod in my exercise playlist. It happened to come on today as I was lifting weights. I did have the power... but how I got it was a different story...

Let's flashback to the days when I was actually running home from school to watch afternoon cartoons. He-Man was one of my all-time favorites!! My mom wasn't so thrilled with it, and actually refused to buy me Castle Greyskull because she thought it looked evil. (You see it above, because I bought it when I was 28 at this flea market, purely out of spite.) She knew the way to get me to do what I didn't want to do was to offer to buy me an action figure, so when I was at swim lessons and didn't want to jump off the diving board, she told me if I did the next time, she would buy me Battle Cat.

Many of you remember Battle Cat. He was He-Man's faithful companion, who when he wasn't Battle Cat, was Cringer, the fearful green tiger with yellow stripes. He was scared of everything!! Even as Prince Adam went to change into He-Man, he would aim the sword at Cringer who would shake even during his transformation to the mighty Battle Cat. But once he became Battle Cat, he would growl fearlessly, before letting out a mighty roar.



Call me nostalgic, maybe even childish, but I relate to Cringer more than I know, and many people I know do as well. We cower in fear of what the world tells us we should be, but Jesus Christ loves us beyond our ability to comprehend. Through Him we have the power!! So that's Who my power is though, and yes I did jump off the diving board that day and got Battle Cat!

I did weights, and walked three miles today. I also ate healthy. Thank you guys for allowing me to share with you, and for your support!!

In Christ,

Rich Jones
www.richjonescomedy.com

1 Corinthians 6:14 - "By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and He will raise us also."